Me. At least after what I've been through.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
