i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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