I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
