erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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