dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
