At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were trust falling into bushes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
