so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
