so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
