I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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