What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
