i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im holly from the hills drunk
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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