we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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