i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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