i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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