It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
