Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
