Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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