Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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