Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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