Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
