Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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