Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Even my vagina gasped.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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