Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This house was built for laser tag.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize