Whats the glycemic index on semen?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You made out with two different species that night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
