Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
