last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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