Everything about him screamed your future.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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