I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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