Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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