There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
