I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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