dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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