Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
