the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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