The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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