And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
