at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
