We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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