singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
