Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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