What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
