Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
