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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
