He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
