Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
