Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
