She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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