Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My sheets look like a crime scene.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
