North Korea, Best Korea!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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