Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
