If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
