I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
