All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
