I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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