Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
