Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
