I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
