She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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