The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
