This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
