i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
