how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
