we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
