i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
