I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
