if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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