It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
